The Birth

WARNING!!!! SPOILER ALERT
There has been some interest in what Si's birth was like, but be forewarned: this won't be for the faint of heart. If you are unfamiliar about the mechanics of where babies come from you should watch the video on this link:
http://boingboing.net/2009/04/20/revealed-where-babie.html
And if this video provides exciting new information. Continue believing that babies come from storks and go on with your day. Stop reading now. The following is irrelevant.
If you need one more distraction, this is another great educational video:

And the second part of this:


Now if you continue reading we are assuming that you have enough of a foundational knowledge to understand what happens next. If not, by all means, go back and watch the videos. Take it from me: ignorance is bliss.

The Story

We thought it would be best to break this up into a two parts. Beth had the experience, but didn't necessarily remember everything; and Shawn has a pretty vivid memory of the event, but he is not near as pivotal in the story. So we will begin with Beth's story. And we apologize a head of time for the length and the detail.

Beth's Story

  

After at least two weeks of slightly deceiving braxton-hicks contractions, or prelabor, that never seemed to get longer, stronger, or closer together, I think we finally went into early labor on Sunday morning, the 25th. I had had a fairly sleepless night due to anxiety, and we had just gotten off the phone with our Doula and a Dr who was recommended to us. The Dr had said we should induce and we were talking about how much longer we wanted to wait before just heading to the hospital so they could help us start labor. I had a really good cry. Then, all of the sudden, I had a contraction that was sharp in pain. The rest of the day the contractions stayed intense, lasted about one minute to a minute and a half but never really got closer than six minutes apart. Shawn stayed with me all day and skipped class.

Sunday night was another night with little sleep but this time it was because of the contractions that were coming about every six minutes and were impossible to sleep through and I had to get on all fours for each one. Eventually I got up and sat on the birth (exercise) ball. I did get another short nap in the morning of Monday, but not much. Monday was starting to get exciting. I knew it was "close". Shawn and I spent the day pretty much as the day before: walking, eating, distracting me and timing most of the contractions.

By late afternoon I was getting discouraged again and I just went down for another nap. I woke up around 6pm very unhappy. Shawn tried to comfort me and suggest we go up the stairs again or walk. I just cried. I stood up to do who knows what and then I started to feel contractions very intensely. There didn't seem to be any break between them! Shawn said they were coming every two minutes, which was really odd, because I hadn't even felt them during the afternoon nap. I took a shower to try to calm down and they spaced out to six minutes apart again. We timed them to see if the contractions would go to three and a half minutes apart, which was our ideal for going to the hospital. They only went to four and a half, but not consistently and were anywhere from eight to five minutes apart most of the hour. What was consistent was the intensity and the length (one minute, sometimes a minute and a half). Shawn and I decided that whatever was going on, we should be making our final preparations to go. Shawn made appropriate phone calls and off we went to catch our taxi.

The ride was ok, but I felt every bump on the Israeli road! Our taxi driver was a kind soul who made sure (argued for our delivery's sake) that we got past security in the taxi and didn't have to walk too far to get to the door. We headed to admissions and gave them the necessary information and preregistration papers. We were put in a very small admission room and I was put on the monitor to check the baby's heartbeat and monitor contractions. I didn't have to lay down, but I did have to sit on the bed. Our Doula arrived soon after and we tried to settle in. They checked my cervix and we were at 4 cm. It was around 9:30pm.

At first I was talking with Shawn and Devorah and even laughing at jokes, but after about an hour I was desperate to get off the bed. Devorah negotiated with the nurses about me getting off the monitor because the contractions were getting more intense. I didn't have any concept of time, but it did seem odd to me that the nurses were not doing anything for me. Were we waiting for a room? Turns out, we were. In the end, we waited about two hours to get to our delivery room. I have to say, it was awful. I could barely breath through the contractions and more than a few times Shawn needed to do his "take charge routine" to get me back to focusing on working through it. By the way, Shawn was with me through EVERY contraction while at the hospital. He didn't even take a bathroom break and I am sure he didn't nourish himself with enough water or food. Devorah was right there with us through every one as well! But by the end of the two hour admission "fun", I couldn't even stand, and I was down on my knees with my head on a chair. When the hospital staff addressed me, I couldn't look them in the eye.

Finally, they walked me to the delivery room and we met the midwife who would be helping us. She checked my cervix in the room and we were at seven and a half cm. This is now the part where I don't remember much. I know that we spent some time standing next to the bed, leaning over the birth-ball, and swaying. I don't know how long we did that before they checked me again and I was at nine and half cm. 

I started to feel the urge to push, but the midwife said she felt the bag of waters. She asked us if we wanted them to break it for us, which would speed up labor. We thought that quicker would be better, because of the lack of energy and the urge to push. They needed the doctor to sign off on the procedure, and even though we asked what the consequences of having the water broke were, they did not tell us that the monitor would have to go back on. This became a problem when the monitor was dislodged after every contraction. The midwife and the doctor weren't in the room and when they finally came back, they decided that the monitor needed to be left on longer!

Meanwhile, I was on my side and felt incredible urges to push, but laying down was really painful. The most bizarre part was every time I felt the urge to push, I felt an involuntary moan come out of my mouth that didn't sound at all like me! It was very low and primal, I have to say. At that point a different midwife came into the room, and told me to shut my mouth. She told me that if I held my breath instead of moaning it out I would have more successful pushes. She was right. 

It wasn't long before we started to push for real. I was so tired, I really wasn't sure I could do it. I couldn't even make the effort to open my eyes. When I felt even the slightest urge and was confident I could take a breath, I pushed as hard as I could. I had no idea how long we did this. Devorah, Shawn and the midwife kept telling me how well I was doing, but I was sure I was doing an awful job. Finally they told me they could see the head, and they asked me if I wanted to see it too. I said no! It was too much effort to look down, and I just wanted to get her out. 

The next thing I knew, there was a messy living being on my stomach crying and red! Her eyes opened, and I started talking to her and telling her how glad I was to see her. They let us have a moment with her on me before they clamped the cord. They asked Shawn if he wanted to cut the cord, he said no at first, and really, he wasn't planing on it. But then I asked him, "you don't want to Shawn?" And I think he felt a little peer pressure. They dried her off, and gave her to Shawn, while they helped me push out the placenta, gave me a shot of pitocin, and stitched up my first degree tear. It was a bloody mess, but better than it could have been. 

From there, the next few days were quite the blur. Both Si and I were tired. Some of the nurses spoke excellent English. Others didn't speak any at all! Some of them preferred to try and understand Shawn's broken Hebrew than to speak English to me. And others thought they spoke English, but we won't go into that. 

Afterward, Devorah talked about how we had basically had the birth that we wanted, but I have to admit it was nothing like I had expected it to be. I wish I had gotten more sleep before labor, and had a chance for a hot shower as a form of pain relief during the active labor (admission room time!). But one thing is for certain, I couldn't have done it without the constant support of Shawn.  

  

Shawn's Story

Beth has an even better memory of this than I had thought. But there are a few things I would like to say to augment her story. 

1. Waiting room and waiting for a room.

As soon as we got into the admissions room and Beth had her cervix measured, the nurse said that Beth could get a delivery room as soon as one opened up. But time passed, the contractions kept increasing, and I overheard one of the nurses ask why Beth hadn't been given a room. Another one replied that there wasn't a room open. I wanted to talk to them about it, but didn't want Beth to know that there wasn't a room open. I thought it might demoralize her a little bit. I also thought if I started talking in Hebrew, Beth would be a little hurt. So I tried to focus on just helping Beth breathe. She was amazing. It was kind of funny though, the doctor came in a couple of times when Beth was at the peak of a contraction. Then the doctor would get all impatient before Beth and I could talk to her. It was kind of frustrating. But that wasn't the biggest problem we had with the doctor. 

2. The doctor had all the warm soft bedside manner of a cactus at the north-pool. 

The doctor that was bugging us in the waiting room wasn't the doctor we had in the delivery room. I am not sure which one would have been better. Our midwife was great, but I was not impressed with the doctors. When Beth had her waters artificially ruptured, they put her laying on the bed. The male doctor we had in the delivery room clearly had no idea how painful it was for Beth to lay down especially on her back. So when the stupid monitor had been on for like an hour and fifteen minutes, but had not been picking up the fetal heart rate, the doctor came in and put it on again. I think every time that doctor touched her, Beth would scream. So anyway, he put the monitor back on her, and was leaving the room. Beth really needed to get in a new position so I asked him if she could stand up. He looked at me like I was from outer space said no and walked out of the room. It was all I could do not to chase him down. I think the overly protective father thing kicked in and I wanted to go ballistic on him, but I knew that it wouldn't help Beth. So I tried to settle myself down and pretend nothing was wrong. When the monitor screwed up again, Devorah and I just unplugged the stupid thing and helped Beth get into a more comfortable position. Even with it unplugged it was still another forty-five to thirty minutes before they came into check if it was in place. The next one in the room was the Midwife, and she was great. Really helpful and pretty compassionate. Thankfully, by this point, she stayed with us. And though the monitor remained on, she helped Beth be in the best positions she could.

3. Birth really is a miracle.

I think I had seen the stereo typical birth movies. I think I have even seen "The Miracle of Birth." To be perfectly honest: I thought it was gross. Miracle my tail end. From the movies birth looked (and sounded) like bloody constipation. That is exactly what I was expecting when Beth started pushing. Cosby is great, when it comes to the actual birth. He sums up my feelings to a T. But that was before I saw it actually unfold. Beth was really gone when she started pushing, and she didn't believe any of us when we told her how well she was doing. But then, I started to see the head emerge. Her perineum would swell, and just a little more would stick out. It was so incredibly exciting. And then all of a sudden it seemed like, Si just popped. I don't know if there is any other way of explaining it. And was truly beautiful. I thought I would be vomiting in the corner when it came to that, but there was my screaming little bundle of terror, and I couldn't wait to hold her. It was the most unexpected part of the birth for me. I really do think that birth is a miracle now, even if the movies do suck.

4. The glow of the new mother. 

I was pleased as punch, but when the placed Si on Beth's chest, you could almost see the warm aura. There was a golden glow surrounding mother and daughter. I don't know if I can explain it. It was clearly evident to every one in the room. Beth was gushing over her daughter, talking to her, and loving her. But there was something very special right then that I don't think hardly anything else comes close. That was a moment I will never forget.